It's January 29, 2024. Thirteen years ago I was sitting on the tarmac at JFK airport, praying the flight would lift off despite the crazy snowstorm that was blanketing the city. I couldn't wait to get back to Nepal, get back to my daughter Junu. Leaving her only 6 weeks prior was one of the most difficult choices I have had to make in my life. Now on my way back to Nepal, anxiety and excitement filled my body. The unexpected became the expected. Wanting to hold my daughter was the life force I needed to give me strength and hope.
As you can surmise and many of you know, Junu's adoption had many snags, bumps, detours and hardship....visa issues, requests to further approve her abandonment, US lawyers, Nepali lawyers, US State Department phone calls, etc. We were in Nepal for the duration. It took longer than expected. I was getting accustomed to the unexpected.
As I sit here in my home tonight and reflect back, I see how all the pieces fell together. My daughter, Junu is now almost 16 years old and we've come quite far from those days wandering around Kathmandu. Then our daily walks included a little coffee shop on the corner with the most delicious chocolate croissant. There was always a street dog, or two, slumbering on the steps outside the picture window. We ventured to the few places we could find green grass, the Shanker Hotel and the Garden of Dreams. Both gave a sense of calm in the otherwise chaotic traffic throughout the city. I enjoyed the days we visited our friend Sarita's tea house, she always welcomed us with a smile and tea...of course. There were walks that lead to our favorite restaurant to devour Nepali chicken momos and cab rides that took use through smog filled streets only to break free from the crowd and reveal hidden treasures. While carrying Junu on my back, we often passed by the Royal Palace. One day I happened to look up and in the tree tops were HUGE bats hanging upside down, wings wrapped around them tightly as they slumbered the day away. We didn't venture out at night....bats, wild dogs....things we wanted to avoid.
I still hold the country clearly in my mind, in my heart and in all my senses. On occasion, there are mornings when I walk out of my home and the cool air hits my warm face in a way that brings me back to Nepal. How can the smell of the air here remind me of the morning air in Nepal? Sounds strange, being it's on the other side of the world, but somehow it's there. Perhaps it is lingering in my senses to remind me to come back, to not forget the beauty and love I found there. To bring Junu back to her culture, her country, her first home.
We are returning to Nepal in nearly two weeks time. So many feelings and so much to prepare for that I am not yet registering the magnitude of this journey for Junu. However, in my quiet moments, the enormity of this trip is upon me and I don't take one piece of it for granite. We are returning to where the beginning of our story, together, began...that feels powerfully important. We are as ready as we can ever be. Bit by bit we will go, open to the process in all its dynamics, twists, turns and treasures. I look forward to sharing once again my friends.
