|Thank you Auntie Claudia, I love these groovy pants.|
|She couldn't have enough barrettes.|
|Just getting into stuff|
|Fuzzy pompoms rule.|
|Best smile ever|
It is all the little things that build upon one another that give the big things. All the little things that make up my big girl Junu. All the little thing that make Nepal home.
All the little things that make the difference in the big things of the world.
It has been quite a while since I last posted because I have been paying attention to and receiving all the “little things” that make Junu and I mother and daughter. There have been treasures each day. The first day I picked her up at the orphanage was great. Pandey and I drove in through the gates greeted by Sanu’s great big smile along with all the little smiles and bright eyes. Yes, little smiles = big love. Suluv, Supria, Cocee, Godoff, Driste, Soosan all smiling ear to ear and looking behind me to see if Buwa was also with us. I had to say “no Buwa” because their inquisitive faces called for an explaination. I can’t tell you how great it was to see all these children who have stamped their essences upon my heart. Of course, Junu was not there….she was up stairs sitting on the mats, just sitting somber once again. Well, as soon as I saw her I couldn’t help myself, I just went right to her and pulled her close…she pushed away, but more in surprise than in rejection. She looked and looked at me again, so when I pulled her to me the next time, she accepted and even grinned a wee bit. We have been stuck together since. We all sat on the floor and talked, laughed and caught up on how everyone was doing. Sanu and I are like sisters and I absolutely adore her!!! The kids, all wanting love, swarmed me a bit, but I was able to give them all little bits of love and kisses which made a big difference. Suluv , the little boy I want to claim as my son, wanted and received quite a few extra morsels of love.
We went downstairs to go through all the donations. Sanu was so grateful. She wanted me to make sure I thanked all who donated so “Thank you everyone including Beth, Angela and Robin”. Sanu, the didis and I all “oooed”and “aaahed” over the clothing. There was so much and some of the outfits where so darn cute we just couldn’t help ourselves. We enjoyed Nepali tea, more laughter and a lot of gratitude. We are all grateful for the role we have played in one another’s lives.
I decided to wait at least one week before going back to the orphanage so as to help Junu adjust and really know she and I are together. We will go back sometime this week and then again for her birthday. After that we will go at least one time per week.
The first night she was sad and I felt the ache within her heart. I just held her, which she accepted, and told her it was okay to feel sad. It is because she has such a big heart and so full of love that she loves her “family” so very much. That it will take some time, but she will understand. I told her how much I loved her and that we are now the “Keegan girls” and we will stay together. I acknowledged how strong she is and once again how much love she has in her heart. As I spoke this way, she calmed, she let go and let me hold her and comfort her until she fell asleep. Now she doesn’t know any English, but the love and understanding permeated through where as words where no longer a barrier. Love can over come all.
Well, here is a list of all the little things I have discovered about my big girl:
-She is really little
-She loves clothes, pink is okay now, stripped pants are groovy, and her fuzzy crocs are the bomb
-She has decided to employ selective mutism, but is an amazing communicator, who needs words? (and yes I am a speech language pathologist)
-She can be quite calm and entertain herself while playing with all little things (i.e. little fuzzy pompom balls, little spoons, little bowls, little baby, little books, little barrettes).
-She also can be a little stinker, causing “trouble” to get a reaction, I love it all.
-She likes to have her hair done, digs barrettes
-She wants to be carried everywhere and I am getting an incredible work out (side note- which is good given I’m feeling a wee bit soft)
-She has this way of quickly tipping her nose up in the air to say “hey check it out, it’s cool, I like it”
-She has to go to the bathroom often and we have a thing where I squat down in front of her while she is on the toilet and she wraps her arms around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder. When she is finished, she points to the toilet paper
-She has a big bright smile
-She likes dogs and cats and points out every animal upon our walks, she also likes nice things and points them out in the shop windows
-Chocolate is still her number 1
-She is really smart, remembers everything
-Every time we lay down for naps or night time, she draws close to me and puts her little arms around my neck, every time.
-She moves a lot when she sleeps, hence I don’t sleep
-She loves her Buwa and has met her Ama through skype
-She is all the little bits rolled up into one big sweet gift from God
So for now I will go, there is so much more to share, especially about living in Nepal. It’s surreal, but here we are together….amazing. Oh yeah, wait until I tell you about being caught in a demonstration just outside the foreign affairs ministry, yikes. I was pretty freaked, but all is well…..don’t worry Dad, we are okay. Good night all.
Peace and Blessings from Nepal,
Sharlyn and Junu