Bleeding Heart

My heart is bleeding.  I have received more information about Junu's abandonment and while I cannot discuss it here, lets just say, it makes me weep.  You can't imagine.  Her spirit is so very strong to endure and get to the place where she was cared for.  The fact that she made it to an orphanage is nothing short of a miracle. For all of the children that make it to any orphanage.  They at least have a chance there; there is hope.  But for many, they die before any chance for life.  There are sometimes more dead babies found versus alive babies.  Can you even imagine???  So impoverished, so destitute, so despondent you leave your baby to maybe survive, or maybe be found by the many roving dogs.  Yes, I know this is horrible, the pictures in my mind are not pleasant, but it's true, there is so much sadness here.  Sadness for those who don't have, who are impoverished beyond any one's ability to fully grasp.  The river smells/is like sewage and people live in tent villages right next to it.  There are hungry children and beggars everywhere you go.  You don't escape it...unless of course you insulate your self at a place like the Hyatt Hotel.  It is beautiful and full of grandeur and in stark contrast to the true reality for many here.  I'm not downing the Hyatt or anyone who goes there, I have, but rather acknowledging the great disparity that exists here...and many other places for that matter.   It really makes one take note to what is most important in life.  It is the simple which is the most precious and if we all were consciously in touch with the essence of where we come from, maybe, just maybe there would be enough, no, more than enough for every one, every where.  How can we make a difference???  I ask myself this question daily and keep hoping for some paradigm breaking idea, but maybe it is just in the daily giving and compassion that is offered.  Maybe in those small gestures a change is made.  I know there are many people out there in the world doing great service and I aspire to give more to the world.  For now, I am thankful to give my daughter the opportunity to reach her fullest potential and to be aware and know, life can change. 

After reading the details of my investigation, my heart felt it was being excavated by a very sharp knife, bleeding.  I wrapped my arms around Junu and she became my bandage.  I held her as close as close can be without climbing inside and let my love and awe of her permeate.  She made it out, she survived...her Soul found a way out and then still somehow found me.  I can't believe all the odds that  were against her, but here she is in her cute little dress with leggings, sleeping peacefully with a belly full of chicken momos.  My eyes are simultaneously brimming with tears of gratitude and tears of sorrow.  If ever any one who reads this has contemplated adoption, please, open up and let your heart lead you.  It may seem impossible from many fronts, but if you trust and take a step forward you will be amazed at what unfolds.  It is possible and the difference you make is exponential in the life of a child and the children to come after.  Believe it can happen and it will.  "Out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made"Rev. Michael Beckwith. 
With great love,
Sharlyn